The tallest candle stick ain’t much good without a wick. February 24, 2009

I know that you’re probably tired of hearing me talk about this topic, but I’m hoping that if I start here I’ll end up somewhere else.

 

It still really hasn’t hit me that we’re getting married in a month.  Every year, months before, I get so excited about Bible camp.  I get the ache in my stomach and can hardly sleep on the nights I lay in bed and let my mind wander to good old Mitchell, IN.  I really thought getting married would work this way too.  I lay in bed at night and I think about walking down the aisle and looking at the smiling faces of all our friends and family and to reach the end and see a smile on Craig’s face that lights up the room.  (Ok, that or a look of sheer horror )  I try to think about what it will be like when my dad takes off my blusher and we stand there and listen to what Gilbert has to say about our covenant.  But I just haven’t gotten excited yet.  Really excited.  I feel as though the wedding is still something that’s just not a reality.  I have a groom, I have a dress, I have a reception hall, I have 350 little bottles of bubbles….but I don’t have a reality.  I still have a thousand tiny things to get done between now and April 4^th, but I just keep putting them off, because in my mind the wedding is not yet a reality.

 

And there it is…I started there and I’m going to go here…

 

Isn’t that so much like our feeling of Christ?  It’s been 2000+ years now and isn’t that how I feel about Him too?  His reality is just not something that feels real to me most days.  Is He really ever going to come?  I mean, logically I know the answer is yes.  But I don’t think my heart knows that.  Just like the wedding, logically I know that on April 4^th I’m going to wake up Courtney Buss and go to bed Courtney Hodges.  But my heart hasn’t figured that out yet, at least not enough to get really excited. 

 

Sometimes I like to let my brain wonder off and imagine that I am a part of the early church.  I bet they were expecting every day for Him to come back.  They must have had such a great sense of urgency about them.  It probably made it easier to give all they had financially to one another and to the poor.  It probably made it easier to give all the spiritual gifts they were given to the advancement of their group.  Because they felt these things were immediate necessities.  I absolutely love the musical Godspell.  The idea of being a Jesus hippie is very appealing to me some days because it feels in the moment.  I spend too much time trying to strategically come up with ways of advancing the kingdom (not that this is altogether bad).  I need to get more excited about the everyday opportunities I have that show me the reality of Jesus first hand.  Why don’t I wake up in the morning excited about the day’s possibilities for kingdom growth and Jesus encounters?  I think my life would be so much more worth while that way.  Wouldn’t it be great to get as excited about encountering Jesus as we do about other fun and important things like Bible Camp and weddings (not to say we don’t encounter Him there as well, but you know what I’m saying…)?  And wouldn’t it be great if we lived life more in a way that Jesus is a reality as opposed to feeling like He’s just a nice thought?  I need to stop procrastinating Jesus.  Afterall, the tallest candle stick ain’t much good without a wick.  (That’s a Godspell quote for those of us that’s aren’t musical theatre savvy. )