I know I want to have a discussion about the last post and the movie Amazing Grace with all of you eventually, but I am going to postpone that for a little while and give everyone a chance to watch it.  I really hope some of you that are perhaps readers and don’t ever comment will give me some of your insights as well.

But for today I wanted to talk about something else.  It’s taco salad day here at Fairfield, which means everyone, no matter what job they do here or how unhappy they may be with that job, everyone is in a good mood today, and everyone, VPs and janitors alike, are eating in the caf today.  Taco salad day is one of those things that cause the community I work in to rally.  We all love this meal, and it is prepared very well at Fairfield, and you won’t find a gloomy face at Fairfield today, which is far about what standard around here is.

And as I walked through the hallway, being greeted by smiles that are typically frowns, I started thinking about the need for something to rally around.  For Christians it’s our love for our God and Savior.  For those of us in the Louisville area it’s the Kentucky Derby; (small side note here, I never used to find much merit in the Derby because I’m not a huge fan of gambling in general, but all of the events leading up to that Saturday in may, Thunder, the balloon race, etc, have a way of making Louisville bright, and for that I am thankful.)  For those that live in New Orleans it’s Mardi Gras and here at Purdue it’s things like Grand Prix and football games. 

So what things happen in your communities that make people rally together?  What do you have that changes the dynamic of your community and replaces the commonplace with excitement and togetherness?  It can be any community really, your church community, your family, your work community, whatever.  I’m just interested in hearing your stories of community.

And again, if you read this blog and have time to respond, even if I don’t know you, I’d love to hear from you.  The fun thing about mass communication is that it can bridge even the most distant of communities. 

I have a homework assignment for everyone.  Don’t worry, it’s a fun one. 

Between now and, let’s say, April 25, everyone needs to rent and watch the movie Amazing Grace.  I watched it this weekend, and it was very good.  There are several themes that I would like to hear your thoughts and reactions to.  Here’s a list of a couple of mine that I’ve come up with, and I’m seriously proposing that you all watch it and we begin writing an open forum discussion on here.  I think a lot can be gleaned from discussing this movie.

For one, there’s the most obvious theme of overcoming injustice and the Christian obligation/desire to “fight” if you will, for the oppressed and stand up for what is just.  This is mainly displayed through the slavery theme in the movie, but I bet we could display a couple more if we wanted to.

Another thing that occurred to me…God really doesn’t limit who He imparts wisdom to.  I think it’s been the tendency in culture to associate wisdom with age…which I guess is mostly true.  But sometimes we mistake the wisdom we gain from experience and living in this world for Godly wisdom, when really it’s just callousness (like in the case of many of the older members of parliament in the movie.)  Now don’t get me wrong…I don’t think old people are stupid…that’s not what I’m saying.  I am saying, however, that through the movie the scripture “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young but set and example” was running through my head and it encouraged me.  I think God desires to impart His wisdom on all who are searching it…not just those who have “earned it” through years of experience.  It makes me think that I need to step back from many situations and recalculate my idea of what wisdom and good leadership are.  “For the wisdom of man is the foolishness of God.”

Another is that of mixing politics and Christ.  In the movie William Wilberforce seemed to do a good job of balancing both; he was using his political power to push a good agenda.  It reminds me of Bonhoeffer…a pacifist that was willing to knock off Hitler for the greater good.  But this raises certain ethical and theological dilemma for me….where is that line?  Where can Christ and politics be coexistent, and where should they not mesh.  When is it ok to “push” our beliefs in the political arena and when do we need to rely on a more “grass roots” kind of movement?  (Granted, politics in William Wilberforce’s day were probably a little different than they are currently…)  It’s something I’ve been trying to sort out the past year and unfortunately I don’t think I’ve gotten very far. 

So do me a favor and comment, and go watch the movie.  You’ll be all the better for it, I really do believe.

As I sit here in my office eating a bowl of Campbell’s Tomato Soup, some saltine crackers, and a Jell-o Pudding Cup for lunch (yes I am 5 years old) I have one story on my mind…

For those of you who know me, particularly those of you who’ve known me a long time, know that one of my greatest loves in life has been the game of softball.  I joined little league for the first time during the summer between my fourth grade year and fifth grade years of elementary school.  I had never played any sports before; and even seldom had I ever picked up a ball and thrown it in the backyard with Micah during the summers of our childhood; but somehow instinctively I picked up the ball at that first “tryout” (everyone makes little league after all) and a shortstop was born.  It came natural to me, like I had always known exactly what to do with that funny looking neon green ball. 

Batting, however, was another story.  It’s not that I don’t have a good swing; my swing caught the eye of a 19 year old male counselor one year at Bible camp and would forever change my love life.  But I just couldn’t seem to make contact with the ball.  I tried and tried.  I hit off of tees at practice, I did drills, but I just couldn’t seem to consistently make contact. 

I tell you all of that to get here– my freshman year of high school.  My arm and fielding ability had gotten me on the team and I was ok with that.  But batting was still my Achilles heel, and was keeping me out of the starting line up.  So there I stood in the batter’s box, swinging furiously at pitch after pitch from the machine, failing miserably to make contact with the majority of balls that were zooming my way.  And I will never forget what happened next.  My coach Kenny yelled at me across the field (he was an intimidating, yet excellent coach) “Stop trying to hit the ball with the bat and start watching the ball as it hits the bat….let it come to you instead of chasing after it.”  And like most epiphany’s I’ve had in life, it hit me suddenly, and hit me quite hard, and immediately I learned how to make contact with a ball. 

All I needed was that change in perspective.

A couple of weekends ago I had the privilege of spending some time with a group of my friends at a retreat in Converse, IN.  Our preacher from Elmwood, Gilbert, was our keynote speaker for the trip.  Gilbert’s lessons focused on “The Table.”  We spent some time discussing and learning about the “table” life of the body of Christ.  It was a nice topic for me (and hopefully everyone else on the trip) because communion is something that’s been eating at me since my sophomore year of college.  You see, I don’t really care for the way communion is done, and I started wondering how we might benefit from changing it.  In college I went through a time where I was heavily considering observing the Lord’s Supper every day, by myself.  But something didn’t seem right about that.  It seemed it would be too lonely and/or ritualistic. 

It was the lack of community that it was missing.  But I admit that as of recent I’ve been keeping my mind and my mouth shut so that I don’t get labeled as being a “change agent” or even worse “liberal” (I hope you are sensing the sarcasm.)  And so I was happy to hear someone else (Gilbert) speak of their desire to go back to the Bible and rethink the way we’ve been doing communion. 

I’ve heard the argument time and time again that we shouldn’t “do” communion every Sunday because it becomes meaningless.  I disagree.  I think we should be wanting and desiring to come to the table with other believers on a much more frequent basis than once a week.  My heart and mind are telling me that we’re missing out on the affirmation provided when we sit down with one another, breaking bread, and declaring the Lord’s love for us. 

What do you think?  Does the church need a change of perspective on communion?  Does anyone have experience with developing healthy habits for church life in this regard and can anyone give examples of how they’ve made the Lord’s tables intimate when you’re worshipping with a congregation of 300?  I’m very interested in hearing some response.

I reread this Psalm last night and it was exciting for me.  Do you ever have those days where something in the text just really jumps out and gives you cold chills? 

Psalm 22 (English Standard Version)

Why Have You Forsaken Me?

To the choirmaster: according to The Doe of the Dawn. A Psalm of David.

 1^(A) My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?     Why are you so^(B) far from saving me, from the words of my^(C) groaning?
2O my God, I cry by^(D) day, but you do not answer,
   and by night, but I find no rest.  3Yet you are^(E) holy,
   ^(F) enthroned on^(G) the praises^[a] of Israel.
4In you our fathers trusted;
   they trusted, and you delivered them.
5To you they^(H) cried and were rescued;
   in you they^(I) trusted and were not put to shame.  6But I am^(J) a worm and not a man,
   ^(K) scorned by mankind and^(L) despised by the people.
7All who see me^(M) mock me;
   they make mouths at me; they^(N) wag their heads;
8^(O) “He trusts in the LORD; let him^(P) deliver him;
   let him rescue him, for he^(Q) delights in him!”   9Yet you are he who^(R) took me from the womb;
   you made me trust you at my mother’s breasts. (And Jesus grew in wisdom, and stature, and favor in God and man….)
10On you was I cast from my birth,
   and from^(S) my mother’s womb you have been my God.
11Be not^(T) far from me,
   for trouble is near,
   and there is^(U) none to help.  12Many bulls encompass me;
   ^(V) strong bulls of^(W) Bashan surround me;
13they^(X) open wide their mouths at me,
   like a ravening and roaring lion.  14I am^(Y) poured out like water,
   and all my bones are^(Z) out of joint;
my^(AA) heart is like^(AB) wax;
   it is melted within my breast;
15my strength is^(AC) dried up like a potsherd,
   and my^(AD) tongue sticks to my jaws;
   you lay me in the dust of death.   16For^(AE) dogs encompass me;
   a company of evildoers^(AF) encircles me;
they have^(AG) pierced my hands and feet^[b]— 17I can count all my bones—they^(AH) stare and gloat over me; 18^(AI) they divide my garments among them,
   and for my clothing they cast lots.  19But you, O LORD,^(AJ) do not be far off!
   O you my help,^(AK) come quickly to my aid!
20Deliver my soul from the sword,
   my precious life from the power of^(AL) the dog!

 21Save me from^(AM) the mouth of the lion!
You have rescued^[c] me from the horns of^(AN) the wild oxen!  22^(AO) I will tell of your name to my^(AP) brothers;
   in the midst of the congregation I will praise you:
23You who^(AQ) fear the LORD, praise him!
   All you offspring of Jacob,^(AR) glorify him,
   and stand in awe of him, all you offspring of Israel!
24For he has not despised or abhorred
   the affliction of^(AS) the afflicted,
and he has not^(AT) hidden his face from him,
   but has heard, when he^(AU) cried to him.  25From you comes my praise in the great^(AV) congregation;
   my^(AW) vows I will^(AX) perform before those who fear him.
26^(AY) The afflicted^[d] shall^(AZ) eat and be satisfied;
   those who seek him shall praise the LORD!
   May your hearts^(BA) live forever!  27All^(BB) the ends of the earth shall remember
   and turn to the LORD,
and all^(BC) the families of the nations
   shall worship before you.
28For^(BD) kingship belongs to the LORD,
   and he rules over the nations.  29All^(BE) the prosperous of the earth eat and worship;
   before him shall^(BF) bow all who go down to the dust,
   even the one who could not^(BG) keep himself alive.
30Posterity shall serve him;
   it shall be told of the Lord to the coming^(BH) generation;
31they shall^(BI) come and proclaim his righteousness to a people yet^(BJ) unborn,
   that he has done it.  

So, maybe I’m alone on this…or maybe you’ve all realized this as deeply as I did while rereading it last night and I’m just rehashing old news for you, but the whole thing sounds pretty reminiscent of the crucifixion.  The part that really got me though, was verses 19 and 20.  “Deliver me from the sword.”  And Christ was delivered from the sword, because they went to him to break his legs and found that he was already dead.  Then they pierced his side and water ran out of the wound.  And I think the real irony (maybe it shouldn’t be called irony…I don’t know) is that right before he was crucified he said, “those who live by the sword will die by the sword.”  And Christ didn’t live by the sword, and he didn’t die by it either.  Am I drawing too much out of this, or does this kind of thing excite everyone else too?

For those of you who don’t know this about me, I am a very needy person.  Not really needy emotionally (at least I don’t think I am any more than most women are) but I need people that are important to me to spend a lot of quality time with me and pay lots of attention to me.  I’d like to think instead of being “needy” it’s just that “quality time” is an important love language to me, but if you ask Craig he’ll probably just tell you I’m needy.

I’m not like this with everyone; mostly just with Craig and a few select others.  For the most part, I’ve never been one to have many close friends.

I say that for one point only…I don’t like taking second place in the “time” department.  I want to be the highest priority in his life, and I want all others to know and sense that, and I want no one and nothing else to even come close to being as high of a priority for him as I am.  Call me possessive or controlling, but I’m going to be spending the rest of my life with this guy and I need to know that I come first, above all others, because friends will move and change and ball games will be won and lost, but the covenant we’ll be making here in the next couple of years with one another is from now until death do us part, and I don’t think me being top priority is too much to ask when I’m willing to make that sort of commitment.  (Two notes of relief here: I don’t chain him up in the basement…he has plenty of friends and gets to spend plenty of time apart from me doing other activities…and I also in no way am asking to be above God in his life, I’m just assuming that goes without saying…)

And it’s through my “neediness” that I start to understand on a deeper level the desire God has for us to spend time with Him.  I love Craig, and the reason I want to spend time with him is because I love when we are in each other’s presence.  Even if it’s just sitting watching Scrubs together, that quality time spent with him leaves me feeling loved and unforgotten.  I can’t imagine the heartache we cause our Father when we neglect spending time with Him.  I know I do; I don’t open my Bible enough, I pass through nature and overlook the things He’s showing me with His creation, I forget to stop and pray, and boy do I ever have a hard time “being still and knowing.”

How upsetting it must become when you are the maker and sustainer of all life and your creation ignores you to indulge in things you planned for them to enjoy with your love in mind.  That’s almost like if I bought Craig two tickets to an amusement park for his birthday and he chose to take Kyle instead of me.  Wow…I need to stop neglecting God because even the idea of that scenario infuriates me a little.  Luckily He’s probably a little more patient toward me than I am toward Craig.

By show of hands, how many of you have heard this phrase at least once in your life?  (Haha…I wonder how many of you are actually sitting at your computer screen with your hand raised…I know I would be.)  “Life’s not fair, get used to it,” just happens to be one of my parent’s favorite things to say and I admit that I heard it at least 50 times over the course of my childhood/ teenage years. 

I’ve always been very upset by injustice…or, things not being “fair.”  Unfortunately, because I am human, I’ve always been far more upset by injustice done to me rather than injustice done to others.  And callously I have slowly accepted the fact that life isn’t fair.  For me, or for anyone else.

But now I’m realizing what’s wrong with the above.  My parents are very correct; life isn’t fair.  But the sad thing about my feelings toward this unfairness is that I’m rather bitter about it.  It’s become a statement I make to others and to myself with a tongue that cuts; frustration and anger well up inside of me when I hear it in my own head directed toward myself…and perverse joy has welled up in me the few times I’ve decided it would be appropriate for me to say it to someone else.

Who am I to be upset over my life not being fair, when I’m not fair to my Creator on a daily basis?  I am sinful; I rely on myself to solve my problems and I look to the world to give me wisdom, all the while the Father is standing with His arms wide open saying “come; I have already undone the injustice and provided for you a place in My presence.”  And how lacking I am in my spirit of submission when I let others determine my mood and disposition, instead of forgiving, loving, and living by the Spirit of comfort?

And why would I use my words and callousness to cut down others and tear hope away from them?  Christ came to restore, to renew, to provide fairness to those that had none.  He chose the poor to minister to, the sick, the widows, the children because they needed a protector and they needed someone to give them hope.  Yes, life isn’t fair, Satan makes sure of that.  But isn’t it our job as the Body to find ways to undo injustice and provide others with the healing of Christ?  I’ve become so caught up in a world of greed and a “pull yourself up by the boot straps” theology that I’ve forgotten it’s my job to look out for the meek, the poor in spirit, the hurting, and the hungry. 

I keep hearing things of the nature that I will someday grow out of my idealism and desire for tenderheartedness.  Does this have to happen?  Is it inevitable that I will forget someday the things I have written above and embrace the idea that life isn’t fair?  I hope not.

“You may say I’m a dreamer.  But I’m not the only one.  I hope someday you’ll join us.  And the world will live as one.”

Oh the irony of those lyrics.

I haven’t been around for awhile, and I have missed blogging.  And now I’m going to jump right in to what’s been on my mind here recently….

I’m not embarrassed that I’m a Christian, or that I read my Bible, or that I go to church, or that I spend time with Christian friends in conversation about our walks with the Messiah…or any other reason.  I am not ashamed of the Gospel.

I am embarrassed however, or perhaps scared is the correct word, to be considered a “religious fanatic” or be associated with the “intolerant religious right.”  Whatever you may hear it called.

Because it’s not a RELIGION.  It’s a relationship.  And it burns me up a little inside to think that outwardly my walk with Christ might look like religious intolerance or fanaticism to some of my co-workers because of the way that Christianity has behaved for the past few hundred or so years.  And it also shames me that I’ve been part of that in any way. 

I don’t want to pull punches here; I just want to get it out on the table.  It’s hard to be called a Christian and for others to not immediately associate you with a group of people that hate homosexuals, blow up abortion clinics, and believe that America is the only nation allowed to be blessed by the Lord just because we have “In God We Trust” on our currency.  And I can’t say I blame them for thinking that way about Christians, because I know a lot of Christians that believe the word Muslim is synonymous with terrorist.  And that’s a shame.  (I just want to now point out that I am more than likely being tracked by the government after making that comment.)

So where are we?  What do we do?  Where have we been and where are we headed?  And if where we’re headed isn’t where we need to be headed, how to we change directions?  What needs to be done?  How are you helping change the reputation of Christ in the world today (or maybe not His, but those of us that are following Him)?  I want specifics, I want comments, and I want wisdom imparted on me and everyone else that reads this blog.  How are we going to turn this world upside down for Christ?  How can the Gospel be played out in our world today; what are the world’s needs?  If we don’t have a plan yet, don’t you think we need to be developing one?

So, for the past 4.5 years of my college career I’ve been worried about one thing: “Am I one of those people who is never happy and will always long for the next stage of life?”  And I’m very satisfied to report, no, I am not. 

I kept telling everyone around me that not being in school would make me so much happier than I’ve ever been.  And I was told time and time again that I would eat my words.

I know I’ve only been out for two months now, and only one month has been spent in “the real world,” but I can’t describe the absolute peace of mind I’ve discovered that I never had before.  With the exception of really, really wanting to marry Craig as soon as possible I have no worries, no anxieties, and life is just peachy.  Not that I think life should be all roses and puppy dog kisses all the time; I have my problems still and my trials, I have to worry about things that are far more serious than tests now, like bills and food and other things.  But that’s just it; I’m not worried about them.  My biggest concern going through my day is whether or not I’m doing things that are helping the Kingdom, and I think that’s how life should be led, and I’m glad I’m finally able to be at this point.  School hampered that so much…it’s almost like it forces you to make it the number one priority, or you just won’t make it.  I’m so glad to have that behind me because I very sincerely felt like I was being selfish and committing idolatry every step of the way.

And it’s not that I’m sitting here feeling perfect and that life can do no wrong to me and I can do no wrong to life, or that I think I will never screw up again, because I will; but I suddenly feel this enormous freedom to choose Christ that I’ve never felt before.  I’m no longer in an environment that treasures test taking over life living.  Fair enough; in the work environment you’re faced with quite a bit of temptation toward materialism and other things, but if I choose not to get wrapped up in it, I don’t feel like I’m going to fail at my job or be dismissed from my position. 

When I was in school there were times when I literally felt like if I chose to do too much other than study and think about math I would  not make it; maybe I picked too hard of a major.  I probably should have dropped out of school if it was coming between me and God, but I am now so thankful and feel so loved that He brought me through the college years and saved me from losing my relationship with Him altogether.  And all the lessons learned!  I’m sure that I am slowly coming off the wacky weed of academia I smoked during those 4.5 years, and I’m sure I’m far more of a “radical” now that I will probably ever be in my lifetime, because that’s just the way things happen.  Academia breeds a (sometimes way too) open mind, and then you typically swing back to conservatism once you’re an “adult.”  I don’t know if I will always be a “Christian Anarchist” of sorts…I don’t know if I’ll end up deciding it’s ok for me to vote again someday.  But I can say I’m thankful for the “sabbatical” I had from thinking like I was raised to think so that I could develop into my own person and maybe even come off with some good and original insights about life and religion from time to time. 

And I’m so excited about all of the other lessons I will get to learn in life as I “…grow in wisdom and stature and favor in God and man.”  (Ok, maybe not so much stature.)

“I love technology, not as much as you, you see.  But I still love technology, always and forever.  Always and forever.”

I’ve never considered myself to be ahead of the game technologically, or in most cases, even with the game.  (My brother and I were definitely the last kids at school to own a computer, then the last to have internet for said computer, and of course last again to get wireless internet for the computer.)  But recent events in my life have resulted in me being a little more on the “up and up” in the world of technology than I’m typically accustomed to being.  It all started Christmas day when my dad bought me a new IPod Classic, and for the first time I a) owned an MP3 player and actually knew what one was and b) had (I think) the newest MP3 player on the market.  (Of course Apple is so hard to keep up with these days that it seems like every two minutes there’s a newer, better, faster, smaller gadget than before.) 

And then I came to work for Fairfield and they gave me a cell phone, the first cell phone I’ve ever owned that wasn’t a “I came free with a new plan and am the cheapest and crappiest thing on the market to date” cell phone.  It actually has a camera, something I had not had on my cell phone before.  And today, they gave me one of those earpiece thingies that I’ve been making fun of people for wearing for the past five years.  (Come on, it’s a cell phone, you can’t hold it up to your ear?!?!?!)  (But in my defense, I will be working with greasy hands trying to figure out what’s wrong with gearboxes while talking to customers on the phone at the same time, and driving places while talking as well, so I “justifiably” need one.) 

But I tell you all of this not to brag about my new toys (because believe me, as exciting as it may sound to have a work phone, you’re pretty well signing your life over to a company when you accept one into your possession, and that’s not too altogether exciting), but to set this up:

None of my new toys came with instructions!!

(Ok, the phone did, but the Ipod and bluetooth headset did not.). 

I *think* the Ipod had instructions for use on the internet.  And I readily admit, even if it did not, the things pretty easy to figure out…at least it is for me.  But if it were my mom, she wouldn’t be able to turn the thing on!  I think our generation takes for granted that we’ve grown up knowing how to do this stuff.  It has infiltrated our lives since the 5^th grade, and if you’re 22 and don’t know how to type at least 40 WPM, you’ve been living under a rock, or you just didn’t do any homework for the past 18 years, or you might be the most uncoordinated person alive, I’m not sure. 

But the Bluetooth thing….I haven’t really sat down and started playing with it yet, but as of right now, I have no idea how to use this thing.  And evidently it changes colors to mean different things, like if it’s almost out of batteries, or if I’m in a call, or if it’s charging, and when it’s done charging…but how am I supposed to know what colors mean what without a key? 

So I don’t really know what my goal in bloging about this was, but I just thought I’d share with you my fear of technology.  If anyone knows how to use a Motorola H700 wireless, please let me know, and I’ll try to blog with more sustenance next time.

Pick up the nearest book of at least 123 pages

Find page 123

Find the first 5 sentences

Post the next 3 sentences

Tag 5 people

I’m currently reading “Streams of Living Water” by Richard Foster.  I would highly recommend checking him out; I really love his book “Celebration of Discipline” as well.

 ”Needless to say, a sharp line of demarcation appeared between the vision of Seymour and that of Parham.  When it was clear that the majority of the Azusa Street Mission would not accept Parham’s leadership, Parham left with an estimated two to three hundred followers and opened a rival campaign at a nearby Women’s Christian Temperance Union building.  This repudiation of the Azusa work-and competition with it-undermined Seymour’s position and seriously weakened the movement.”

I tag Curt, Kelsey, Mindy, Craig, and Rick.